Over the last few weeks I have got to know you well. We’ve had good times and bad and in between was the lost mind-boggling noise of reality and all its subjective forms. I’m not quite sure if I’m saying this (it could just be my perception) but I think I’m leaving you.
It’s not you though, it’s me. I just can’t understand your complexity and what it is we need to do to make our lives the happiest they can possibly be. You offer me two options at any given moment: pleasure or suffering. On one hand, you tell me that suffering is the only way we can afford pleasure; we cannot have goodness without suffering because suffering is what leads me to become a better human being. On the other hand, you tell me that I should avoid suffering at all costs because it is an evil and that I should pursue a life of pleasure, but not too much because overindulgence is a form of suffering as well. How is it that these things can live together? Do you mean to tell me I must live with both these theories, one, or none?
I’ve given this a lot of thought. I think I know how it should work. You mean to say that the same thing that gives me suffering should give me pleasure, for the two are fundamentally linked. This is how it is. Suffering and pleasure are two different things from the same source, like a symbiotic relationship between a good and evil twin, one cannot survive without the other but both strive to destroy each other.
In spite of this, although I think I’ve figured out how it works, there is no objective way to prove it. Every conclusion I come to has no measurable evidence so every conclusion is confined to the limitations of my mind, my perception, my experiences. I will continue living having to experience suffering and experience pleasure but I will not let you continue to play mind games with me. Our association cannot and no longer stands.